Fist Shake to the Creditors!

I like checking the mail, even though it is usually filled with bills and junk.  I guess I hope for a surprise sum of money to appear magically inside that little black box...or delivered by the mailman.  Either one.  Much to my delight the other day, I discovered a gratifying envelope had been delivered with a mysterious return address and perforated edges.  You know, the edges you get to tear off because there is a check inside?  I thought to myself, fun!  My postal dreams were coming true.

I eagerly tore off those pliable edges and saw a letter sent from Lamont, Hanley & Associates, Inc.  I thought, wow, how nice of Mr. Lamont and Mrs. Hanley to send us some money, we don't even know them!  $218.40!  That's awesome!  But then I began reading:

"The above captioned claim has been placed with this office for collection in full."

I'd been duped!  Apparently the car insurance we had dropped is still trying to collect money from us for the policy we no longer have.  

These creditors are getting tricky.  Now they were not only annoying my husband with a barrage of phone calls, but they began psychological warfare using postage as their ammunition.  They picked up my hopes and then dashed them to the ground!  I'd been juked to the max.

It's my move now in this giant game of money-Chess, and now that collection letter is sitting in my basement collecting dust, because we can't pay it yet.  So, take that Lamont and Hanley!

Has this ever happened to you?

Losing the Farm

As of right now, our journey to bankruptcy has been halted due to some friends challenging us regarding the spiritual and moral implications involved (yep, you read that right).  Saving that post for another day.

However...our two bedroom/two bath condo went up on the market this past Friday as a short sale.  Starting price is $83,000.  We paid $145,000, back in 2006, buying it from our family estate as it used to belong to my Nana, until she passed away.  We were 22 when we bought it.  Buying a home that young is like asking a six-year old to babysit...it might last for a little bit, but all in all, naivete will get the best of 'em.  (Okay, maybe that was a bit drastic of a comparison.  Maybe some people are mature enough at that age, but we were not ready and should have waited).  Here are some pics of what it looked like when we lived there...

Mercy's room

Our room, completely IKEA

I don't miss the glass coffee table.

I do miss these colored walls.

Thumbs up for the condo!

So many firsts there.  We brought Mercy home from the hospital there.  We celebrated our one-year anniversary there.  We also watched the Bears vs. Colts Superbowl there.  We were there until Mercy was about 15 months old, and then rented it out to this sweet single lady who took care of the place.  We had her move out when we couldn't afford the mortgage any longer and were being threatened with foreclosure.

Now it is just an empty shell of a condo, absent of life but for spiders. Poetic, really.

I guess our dream was to have the place paid off and be able to rent it out at a low price to people who were needy, but right now, that is not going to happen.

We are renting our 4 bed/2 bath house right now, and it looks like we will be renters for a while, and we are okay with that.

P.O.O.R.

Our good friends made this for us. Be sure to turn up the volume to hear those mad lyrics!

Wishlist Confessions

I've often thought about how differently Meg and I think about money, and what we'd do with it if we had any. To illustrate, here's a quick look at my best guess for Meg's "Wishlist" of things to buy if we had a bunch of extra money suddenly:

(In no particular order)

1) A big house for our family to settle down and grow up in.

2) A carwash/detail for our family minivan.

3) New sets of outfits for the girls, and clothing for the first 5 years of our unborn son's life.

4) A maid.

5) A cook.

6) A limitless cache of Diet Pepsi (she's kind of an addict).

7) A late-night peanut-butter-and-jelly-making machine (not sure if this exists, but feel free to take that idea and run with it, would-be inventors).

8) A masseuse.

9) TV's with working cable connections in our bedroom, kitchen and every other room of the house (quick word of explanation: she would have the TV on in the background at all times if she could. She says it would just be the news, but I know better).

10) Jon Acuff from STL on hand to keep her laughing when I'm not home.

*Bonus* -- A dinner date with Jon Hamm of Mad Men fame.

Now for a look at my priorities, as described by my own Wish List:

1) Surround sound for the basement entertainment setup.

2) A decked-out Honda Accord for my daily commutes.

3) Sweet suits to wear to work every day, so I can feel like Jon Hamm (of Mad Men fame).

4) A pipe for smoking distinguished tobacco in my distinguished easy chair, located in my distinguished study (full of many leather-bound books. It also smells of rich mahogany).

*Bonus* -- A dinner date with Jon Hamm of Mad Men fame.


____
(record screeches...)
This is Meg, hijacking Rob's post because 1) I wanted to publish it today as it is Wednesday and he didn't finish writing it, and 2) I have a few corrections for the record (he is in the other room right now with some friends).  I really WOULD watch the news and probably have it on all day had I had cable, because I am a news junkie, however, I am NOT a diet pepsi addict.  It is true that I really enjoy a refreshingly cold D.P. even while (gasp!) pregnant, but I am able to give it up at any point, thus negating the addiction factor.  Everything else though is probably pretty accurate, though I would add yearly family vacations to exotic locations.

I would also like to add, for Rob, things of the video-game nature (i.e., tickets to big conferences, the latest gadgets/games) and also a few more guitars than the one he has now (he has an acoustic Larrivee, for those of you wondering).

Let's face it, we all have a 'wish list' of things we would get/do had we no money worries.  Obviously, Rob and I are not putting our hope in this list, nor are we really striving for it at this point.  In fact, we are trying, in our daily routine, to do just the opposite and learn to be content in our present circumstances.


Those 'circumstances' literally mean no cable, rare moments out to eat, few movie theater movies, borrowing a car from friends until we can afford one of our own (one is borrowed, one is paid for), renting instead of buying a home, hand-me-down clothes, ALDI, Medicaid, etc. etc. etc.


We've made do so far, and surprisingly, our marriage is stronger than ever (surprising only because we know we are a statistical anomaly considering the financial problems).  We've become the masters of free and low-budget entertainment, and even though it can be hard, there is no one I'd rather be on this journey with than Rob.

(insert 'awwwwwwws!' right here)

Post us your 'wishlist confessions' !  We are curious to know...

The Next Chapter (Seven)

Did you ever see that movie where that married couple buys a condo from their family estate that seems like a good price at the time and the wife is seven months pregnant and the husband finds a job with 100 percent commission and the place turns out to be too expensive for them so they find a renter and move in with their dad in order to save some money but they rack up a bunch of credit card debt and she goes back to school and then they find themselves in this blackhole of money troubles that seems to have no end and he loses his job and they have another kid and are still living with their parents so they stop paying bills and then decide to file bankruptcy?

Well, that's because the movie hasn't been made yet, but I think it would make a riveting story.  Don't you?  Oh, and that's our story, by the way.  We're Rob and Meg, also known as 'The Broke Folk.'  Right now we are two seemingly well-educated and smart people, both coming from middle-class families who are currently traversing the American economic landscape with about four dollars in the bank at any given time.  And during this road trip, the gas light is perpetually on.  Oh, and that is not a cute metaphor, by the way...it is on in our van right now and I have five bucks to fill her up.

The truth is we're tired of being embarrassed by our money woes and find that the more people we 'out' ourselves to, the more people we find are in similarly embarrassing financial situations.  Our mission is to be as candid as possible about our financial journey, past, present, and future, in hopes of making people laugh and feel better about their situations.  Bankruptcy still has this stigma of shame in our society, when really it shouldn't, because money does not define the individual.  Yeah, yeah, we've made dumb choices.  But there should always be an opportunity for redemption.   Perhaps we have our own cathartic motivations for doing this...but we also need to laugh or we'll go crazy.

And on that note...here are some classic "Yo mama's so poor' " jokes that we found from here:


Yo mama's so poor, when I rang the doorbell she leaned out the window and said "DING!"

Yo mama's so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

Yo mama's so poor, I came over for dinner and she read me recipes.

Yo mama's so poor, she watches TV on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Yo mama's so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.

That's it from us for now!
Rob and Meg

p.s.  We'll hopefully be posting our crazy stories twice a week, so expect more soon!